“You have to hold in the crazy, only let it out in small bits, over time.”
Ohhh man. Apparently when it comes to relationships, you hold in your ‘craziness’, whatever that may be, and guard the bits and pieces of you that don’t fit into your carefully formulated image. You know, the one you want the other person to see at all times. Then, at some arbitrary moment in time, something will just click and you “just know” that this person is worthy of and/or accepting enough to see you for who you really are.
I was clearly out of the loop on this one. For some reason, I found it hyper-rational to throw in my craziness all at once. I figured that if you deem a person worthy to date, they’re worth seeing you at your realest right? What marks that point in time where someone’s officially a part of your comfort zone? Is there a set expiration date for both parties? One that offers a caveat of sort, like “If we aren’t trusting and comfortable by this time, let’s hug it out and call it quits”? Does it become a race, like “I bet I can get this person to up to me tenfold by next month”? Is there a checklist of things to watch out for, like “If I see three or more of these characteristics pop up within the next week, I’m out”?
According to some present company, a gal is supposed to play it coy and keep a man guessing in order to hold onto his interest. Don’t get me wrong, I love some spice and keeping things fresh, but should I really have to play games in order to keep someone’s interest? I joke, I sing, I draw, I dance, I study all things, I can talk to almost anyone anywhere, I get a little freaky. I cut out any hint of drama from my life, and I don’t believe in a power struggle between men and women. Why would I want to hide any of these things? Sure, I seem to have a chronic case of word vomit, but it’s take it or leave it and (usually) doesn’t harm anyone. It’s a beautiful thing when someone recognizes the weird and fully accepts it. I don’t open up often, but when I do, I see myself being an extended version of myself for another person. I want to encourage ideas, discuss hopes and dreams, laugh for hours. Fight when necessary, make up and end up better than before. This is all fine and dandy, but it’s actually getting to this point that’s the doozie. You weed out all the losers (harsh, but true) and you’re left with potential partners and hope they’re not timebombs waiting to go off. Recently, running into what seems to be someone who’s capable of a complete 180 in outlook within a matter of a single day makes me far more likely to just weed out everyone, concluding sadly that things are never as they appear. Luckily, I know myself well enough to be sure that this will only last for a week tops, but it does make me wonder where some guidelines are.
Apparently, I should totally look it all up in the dating manual. It probably suggests I give up feminism in exchange for the ability to play head games, and will offer awesome life advice like Fake bake and wear false eyelashes as often as possible! Take photos only if you’ve mastered the duck face and equipped yourself with Instagram to show the world just how artsy and beautiful you are! Never speak what’s on your mind, because God forbid someone will have a different opinion! Don’t let a man see you without makeup unless he’s slapped a ring on it! Laugh at every joke even if it’s not funny! Act dumb so he’ll feel infinitely more intelligent!
Not.
